Current:Home > ScamsPeople are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend. -Capitatum
People are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend.
View
Date:2025-04-18 11:47:11
Everyone grieves differently – and if you've spent any time on TikTok in recent days, you might have noticed some unexpected, unusual methods.
Some people – to the tune of millions of likes – are confessing or sharing stories with their dead loved ones directly on social media. In one such video, two sisters laugh through telling their mom what's happened since she died. "We didn't know that we had to file your taxes," one says, stifling a laugh before later breaking into fits of laughter. Another video features two pals keeping their deceased best friend up-to-date on the latest gossip – including Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
What these videos have in common: smiles instead of frowns. Joy instead of heartbreaking pain. The spilling of secrets instead of spilling of tears.
Grief experts welcome this type of public healing, for both the bereaved and those watching who may learn something in the process. "What I love about it so much is that it normalizes grief, No. 1, but it also shows that grief is so much more than just crying and sadness and laying in your bed and not being able to get up," says Gina Moffa, licensed clinical social worker and author of "Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go." "It shows that the relationship continues. It shows how a relationship continues, it shows that it doesn't all have to be sadness and upset and despair."
TikTok as grief resource? 'Fantastic'
Grief is not one-size-fits-all.
It's "a lifelong process," says Jessica MacNair, licensed professional counselor. "It's not prescriptive, it's not, five stages in order, you move through these, and then you reach the end. It's ongoing, it comes up in varying times. And, in fact, I mean, that's probably one of the main reasons that people come back to therapy."
Any avenue people can discover to work through their grief – that doesn't involve harming others or themselves – is a good idea. Even on social media.
"If somebody finds something that is effective for them, and it helps them feel better, I love that for them," MacNair adds. "And if people can come on TikTok and see something that worked for somebody else and try that for themselves, that's fantastic."
'Wanted to share my experience'
Of course, people also grieve (slightly) more traditionally on TikTok. Devon Faith Hages, for example, shared a more melancholy video earlier this year where she said she sends messages to her dead best friend's cell phone. She sends him a text or Snapchat a few times a year after he visits her in dreams.
"Every time I dream of him, it's very vivid. It's very raw. It's very painful," says the 24-year-old foster care worker. "And they're unlike other dreams that I've had before because he and I actually maintain conversations. And I can feel him touching me and we hug in our dreams."
Her grief emboldens her to reach out: "When I first wake up from these dreams, the grief derails me for my entire day, because they're so real. So pretty much immediately after I wake up, and I'm just sitting in this grief and this pain, I text him."
Why turn to social media to tell her story? She saw others on TikTok posting about their loved ones who died, "texting them or leaving them a voicemail or getting like a random phone call from a phone number of a dead person, of someone that they loved. So I hopped on that and wanted to share my experience."
More on grief:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
'Just because we laugh doesn't mean we don't miss someone'
No matter how people are grieving on TikTok, one thing is clear, according to Moffa: "People die but relationships don't."
She hopes this TikTok trend continues because each generation must learn to not run away in fear of loss; we can approach grief in our own ways, including through humor.
"Just because we laugh doesn't mean we don't miss someone," she says. "Because we laugh doesn't mean that we're not grieving still."
Keep in mind that grief will manifest in different ways than you imagine over time – often unpredictably so.
"Grief will come when it comes," Moffa says. "And that may mean that you have grief, two years later, that comes up that feels like it's the first time that you're grieving, or some memory will come up. And it will be something that you have to grieve all over again."
Maybe it will involve laughter. Maybe tears. Either way, it keeps a loved one's memory alive.
And maybe that's all that matters, anyway.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Other avenues:Her son died, and she felt alone. In her grief, she found YouTube.
veryGood! (9)
Related
- Person accused of accosting Rep. Nancy Mace at Capitol pleads not guilty to assault charge
- It's not just a patch: NBA selling out its LGBTQ referees with puzzling sponsorship deal
- More human remains believed those of missing woman wash up on beach
- Massachusetts IRS agent charged with filing false tax returns for 3 years
- Spooky or not? Some Choa Chu Kang residents say community garden resembles cemetery
- 50* biggest NFL draft busts of last 50 years: Trey Lance, other 2021 QBs already infamous
- Meghan Markle’s Suits Reunion With Abigail Spencer Will Please the Court
- Convenience store chain where Biden bought snacks while campaigning hit with discrimination lawsuit
- JoJo Siwa reflects on Candace Cameron Bure feud: 'If I saw her, I would not say hi'
- Two arrested in 'draining' scheme involving 4,100 tampered gift cards: What to know about the scam
Ranking
- Jury selection set for Monday for ex-politician accused of killing Las Vegas investigative reporter
- Maui's deadly wildfires fueled by lack of preparedness, communication breakdowns
- Rap artist GloRilla has been charged with drunken driving in Georgia
- Virginia law allows the state’s colleges and universities to directly pay athletes through NIL deals
- A New York Appellate Court Rejects a Broad Application of the State’s Green Amendment
- District attorney says Memphis police officer may have been killed by friendly fire
- Jerrod Carmichael says he wants Dave Chappelle to focus his 'genius' on more than trans jokes
- Arrest made 7 years after off-duty D.C. police officer shot dead, girlfriend wounded while sitting in car in Baltimore
Recommendation
Vance jokes he’s checking out his future VP plane while overlapping with Harris at Wisconsin airport
50* biggest NFL draft busts of last 50 years: Trey Lance, other 2021 QBs already infamous
Antisemitism is everywhere. We tracked it across all 50 states.
Powerball winning numbers for April 17 drawing: Lottery jackpot rises to $98 million
Paris Olympics live updates: Quincy Hall wins 400m thriller; USA women's hoops in action
Netflix now has nearly 270 million subscribers after another strong showing to begin 2024
Travis Kelce’s Ex Kayla Nicole Responds to “Constant Vitriol”
When does summer start? Mark your calendars for the longest day of the year in 2024